Phenomenal Woman: A Remembrance of Dr. Maya Angelou

Dr. Maya Angelou touched many lives in many different ways. She was a brilliant writer, poet, dancer, and humanitarian. For me, she has always been a part of the fabric of my life.

I grew up in a household where her name was common. My mother loved her work and quoted her often. For me, her name was associated with lyrical fragments and reverence. I actually did not read a complete poem or any of her prose until I was much older. Instead she just existed as a part of my childhood background.

Like Maya Angelou, I grew up in rural Arkansas. Every time we drove through Stamps on our way to Texarkana and beyond, my mother would turn me.

"Grace, do you know who lived here? Have I told you?"

"Yes, Momma."

"Maya Angelou grew up here. She was the same age as you."

"I know, Momma."

I accepted her existence with the casual indifference of a child. She wasn't real to me. She was a name, a few pretty words, but she had my mother's admiration. I knew she had to be something wonderful.

Through high school and college, I read a few of her poems, but not in any concerted manner. One verse, one image, did stick to my mind. Maybe it spoke to my adolescent sense of sexuality. Maybe it was the celebration of a woman's body. Maybe it was just the rhythm of her words. But they stuck with me.

Does my sexiness upset you?

Does it come as a surprise

That I dance like I’ve got diamonds

At the meeting of my thighs?

It wasn't until a few months ago that I realized how much in common I had with her. I finally picked up a copy of I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings. It blew me away. It was beautiful and tragic and harsh and uplifting. It was lyrical and gritty and intense. I was in love. 

Though I have thankfully not suffered the same tragedies as Ms. Angelou, I knew the town where she grew up. It was my town. Her neighbors were my neighbors. Her culture, my culture. It made me want to write about my childhood, about that isolated southern world were we both spent our formative years. 

Then on May 28th, 2014, Dr. Maya Angelou died. 

I've followed her on Facebook and that's where I heard the news. I was devastated. She had always existed for me. She was woven into the fabric of my understanding. She was gone and I would never get to meet her. I had to tell my mother.

That was a call I didn't want to make. I knew my love for Ms. Angelou paled in comparison to that of my mother's. I avoid the topic at first and then blurted it ungracefully. 

"Momma ... Maya Angelou died."

For the last week she's been on my mind. I see snippets of her poems and inspirational quotes everywhere. I've started my second novel that takes place in a small southern town and I see her in my words and characters. When I picked up I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings, I also bought a copy of her most recent autobiography about her relationship with her mother, Mom & Me & Mom. 

I skipped all the books in between because the central theme of the novel I'm writing focuses on the loving and destructive dynamic between a mother and daughter. I started and finished the book in a day.

It didn't have the same powerful impact as Caged Bird, but it was well written. It lacked some of the flowing lyricism, but I'm sure that's just an evolution of her writing style. She talked about her mother with the same awe and admiration I often feel for mine. Their relationship was tumultuous. Her mother left her at the age of three with her paternal grandmother. Betrayal, abandonment, and love wove a strong thread between these two strong women. It is definitely a book I would recommend, but only if you've read I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings. That book I recommend over all others.

And thought I'm sure many of you have read this in the days since her passing, I leave you with a video of the poet herself reciting her amazing work "Still I Rise."

100 Writer's Project: In the Beginning

Introducing... Claudia Wagner!

My first novel, first draft almost finished. How did I get here? If I were Michener I would start--In the beginning, God. This blog post begins only a little later than that, but well before cell phones and the internet.

I used to write and submit poetry for publication. Acceptance letters along with the standard thank you and a promise of two copies of the issue in which my poem would be published thrilled me. But in those pre-cell-phone days, it cost a fortune to call all my friends and relatives long distance to tell them the good news. Not to mention the expense of buying additional copies of said issue and postage to send those copies to friends and relatives.

I’ve worked for a small-town daily newspaper. I’ve seen my by-line and my name in cutlines enough. But the idea of a book with my name on the spine sitting on a shelf in the Edmond Public Library seems much too grand. It shimmers above me in the night sky, brighter than the moon. A dream, a desire, a star too brilliant to look at and too distant to touch.

Knowing that a novel was beyond me, my book started out as a short story. I’ve written short fiction. I took a course in college. I understand how it works. So all I needed was a prompt of some kind and a deadline. My daughter provided the prompt and the deadline allowing me to choose the genre.

I ignored her prompt and chose murder and science fiction. And I went to work.

The deadline came and went, and the work proved to be as undisciplined as I. The story would not limit itself to short fiction. So I reconsidered the situation and decided to do a little book, a murder mystery that takes place on a colony in low orbit around the asteroid Ceres. But I needed help.

I happened to attend a monthly meeting of Oklahoma City Writers, Inc. at which William Bernhardt was doing a two hour presentation on novel writing. He talked about outlining. An instant turnoff since my research paper days too many years ago. But he made sense and showed how to plan the structure of my book. He was talking about the actual nuts and bolts of constructing a book-length story.

Three years plus several months, three of Bill Bernhardt’s intensive writing workshops plus a conference here and there, and I am coming around the last turn on this full-length murder mystery science fiction novel.

Bill said write every day. Four hours a day. If I had done that the book would have been finished long ago. Did I mention that I’m undisciplined? I heard somewhere that Stephen King says to write four hours a day and read eight hours a day. Or was that Mark Twain?  The eight hours reading I could go for, whoever said it.

There was a recommendation that I join a writers’ critique group for support and critical input. But that meant I had to also give support and critical input. I left every one of those meetings feeling bad because I had said harsh things to people as earnest about their writing as I was about mine. Tact is not one of my virtues. And have I mentioned lack of self-control?

Then somewhere else the advice was to just write it all the way through, do not do any editing until the story is complete. What a good rule. But mine is a murder mystery. As I wrote I discovered things that needed to appear earlier in the story. That required a rewrite of a scene. Editing? Even sitting down to begin the next writing session without looking at what I’d done the day before was impossible. Reading the work from the day before required minor or major changes. Did I mention that I tend to break rules even when I impose them myself?

What have I learned these past three-hundred, ten pages, and counting? Somewhere I heard that the definition of the verb to persevere is to begin again, and again, and again. No matter how many times my discipline fails, my control is lost, and my rules are broken, I can begin right now where I am. My book will be written and I will be launched into the night sky to find my name on the spine of a book in the Edmond Public Library. Just gotta finish this book first.

Claudia Wagner

I was born in Oklahoma. I learned to read under my mother’s ironing board. I learned the importance of stories around the dinner table during holidays and in the cellar during storms. I started writing to entertain my classmates. I continued to write because classes or work required it. Sometimes I wrote to understand my life. I have been office help, a welfare case worker, a fast foods manager, and a roustabout in the oil patch. I have also worked for the USDA. I’ve managed a veterinary clinic, helped care for my dying mother, and been a Page at the Edmond Library. I am a woman, a wife, a mother, and a grandmother. I believe the future of humanity is as unlimited as the Universe. And I believe that we as a species are imaginative enough and brave enough to move beyond the Earth into that Universe.

For more from Claudia, check out her blog, The Bookwright.

The Next Big Thing

Thanks to Alexis Lantgen for tagging me in the Next Big Thing Blog Hop!

1: What is the working title of your book(s)?
My finished book is called "Free." That's a definitely a working title and I am open to any suggestions, especially if they come from an agent or editor.

2: Where did the idea come from for the book?
I've always love dystopias and I've always been fairly politically active. The idea for my book all started with the Supreme Court's ruling on the Citizens United case. The entire concept of a corporation as a "person" fascinated me. Could they vote? Could they adopt? What would the world be like if corporations had all the same rights as an individual and, in some cases, more? These questions spurred me to created the world of Opal and Hands (my two main characters).

3: What genre does your book come under?
Free is a near-future, young adult, speculative fiction novel.

4: Which actors would you choose to play your characters in a movie rendition?
Opal - Lily Cole or Zena Gray. They might be bit old though.... Maybe Emma Watson with red hair?
Hands - no idea. Someone tall, dark, and broad shouldered.
Janus - Definitely Andrew Garfield since he's the one I modeled the character after.

5: What is the one-sentence synopsis of your book?

Opal, a genetically engineered, super-intelligent sixteen year old girl, is imprisoned for crimes against the company and must find a way to escape torture and prevent her parent company from unleashing a deadly famine on the world. 

6: Is your book self-published, published by an independent publisher, or represented by an agency?
My book is not yet published. I am currently seeking an agent for representation.

7: How long did it take you to write the first draft of your manuscript?
It took about a year to get the book to the point it is at now, which I consider the third draft or so.

8: What other books would you compare this story to within your genre?
The Hunger Games, The Maze Runner, Uglies

9: Who or what inspired you to write this book?

My favorite dystopia of all time is The Handmaid's Tale by Margaret Atwood. After reading it, I aspired to that level of writing. I'm not there yet, but Free is a good step in the right direction.

10: What else about your book might pique the reader’s interest?

While the world of Free is a made up of vast sprawling metropolises and secure corporate compounds, the story is actually very personal and follows two young people from different social castes as they try to make sense of their world and stand up for what is right. I think the intimacy is what really drives this story forward.


Tagging more Writers:

I hate to tag people without their permission, but feel free to do this blog hop with me! Let me know and I'll add your name (and link)!

The Girl that Haunts Me

In addition to writing, I am also a visual artist. Pen and ink are my normal go-to media, but I also enjoy acrylics and color pencil (watercolors are my mortal enemy!). Many of the things that inspire my stories also inspire my pictures. Death. The future. Human experience. Yet there is one source of inspiration that has followed - perhaps haunted - me for years, and that inspiration started with a book.

Girl with a Pearl Earring by Tracy Chevalier was inspired by a 17th century painting of the same name by Johannes Vermeer. Not much is actually known about the painting or the artist, for that matter. Chevalier's book was an attempt to discover the woman and the story behind the painting.

Not only does the concept of a writer delving into the past through fiction appeal to me, the painting itself struck a chord. Who was this girl? Her expression changes every time I study her. Sometimes she's full of innocence and hope. Sometimes her dark eyes fail to reflect the coy smile on her lips. Sometimes she looks lonely. Sometimes lost. Sometimes wise beyond her years.

I have studied this painting relentlessly. As a writer, I need to figure out who she is. I need to understand what she feels, what she dreams, what she desires with the utmost depths of herself. As an artist, I draw her. Over and over again. Maybe by creating her image I will find a deeper understanding. From sketches to paintings, I have recreated this girl many times. Often, instead of finding her, I find someone else entirely.

These are two very different version of the "Girl with a Pearl Earring" that I've done.

               "Girl with a Pearl Piercing"                       "Runner with a Pearl Earring"

Both of the women in my pictures are very different from the original and very different from each other. By studying one intriguing face, I have found many new characters. These two pieces are a small sampling of my efforts to capture the girl who wears the pearl earring. They are the most recent, but they won't be the last. 

I know that I will return to this painting, trying to tease out it secrets with words and paint. As a writer and an artist, inspiration is key to my success and, thanks to this painting, I have never lacked a mystery to follow. 

So let me end with a quote from the book that started this lifelong obsession:

“You're so calm and quiet, you never say. But there are things inside you. I see them sometimes, hiding in your eyes.” 

"Girl with a Pearl Piercing" and "Runner with a Pearl Earring" are copyright to Grace Wagner. Do not reproduce or use without permission. 2013

100 Writers: The Black Hole After the Great American Novel

For our first installment of the 100 Writers Project, more information on the project here, I'd like to introduce Trisha Schmidt.

So I finished it. I did it. I finished my first ever novel. Now what? I’ve finished the second draft edits of my novel, but I need to set it aside in between edits to clear my head and come back with fresh eyes.  So the question is: what do I do now? I have other ideas. Quite a few of them, actually, but none seem to want to slide into place and get off the ground. Writing this first one was too easy. I sat down during Camp Nano last August and the words flowed. They really flowed. When I had struggled to get 2000 words on most days with other projects, I was kicking out 3k-4k words on most days during that month. Sixty-five thousand words in a little over 30 days. A complete rough draft.  And now? Now I stare at the screen.

What’s different now? What changed? I think the greatness of having that first one finished, for starters. That constant flow of words that happened almost every time I sat down to write was amazing and freeing. I would worry for a few minutes and then, when I started to type, it flew by. I would realize I had my 3 or 4 thousand and knew it was a good day. I’m not sure if I’m psyching myself out because those words flowed so easy. I also second guess my ideas. They’re boring or have been done before. I strive to be original and have stories that are different. There are only so many stories to tell out there before they have similarities. I just need to convince that part of my brain to let go and just write.

How does one let go of that first novel? I can’t 100% let go because it isn’t finished in the sense that it still needs a lot of editing, but I need to move forward with my writing. I have successfully written blog posts along the way. I’ve done plenty of rewriting with at least 10k words added to the first novel. I have written, just not a new story.

At this point in my writing career, I am still learning every day. I hope that I will always learn, but, being a newer novelist, I have learned so much in the last year. I’ve learned that I’m capable of finishing a novel. I’ve learned that editing is as awful as I first thought it was, but that it is also thrilling to see the first draft mutate to something else, something more. I’ve learned that publishing a book is even harder than I thought and that getting an agent requires more writing still.

All these things have more than likely added to my case of writer’s block. I keep learning and the more I know, the more I can overthink. I can really psych myself out now. What if I picked the wrong POV and that turns all the agents off? What if I don’t get the YA voice correct leaving teenagers not wanting to read it let alone anyone else? Now I really get what they mean when they say writing is hard. It’s hard to have faith that you wrote something fresh and new. That what you’ve written is the next big thing. And when you doubt the first, how can you move on to the second or third?

Thank goodness for the shower and its magical power of persuasion. I am working through my block. I realized that a great story is great no matter what POV you choose. Yes, I realized this in the shower. I’ve also come up with bits and pieces of the story I hope to turn into a novel in the shower.

Then there’s Nano. Camp Nanowrimo is again upon us and they have changed the rules. You can change your writing goals. For those who don’t know of Nanowrimo, www.nanowrimo.org. It is a crazy writing challenge where people sign up to write 50k (or whatever you choose for this lesser offshoot called Camp) and join other writers to accomplish this goal. The main challenge is to get you in the habit of writing consistently for 30 days and also to help people finish a project they start. Many don’t finish their story but hit the word goal and writing daily is a great start to finishing a project.

I am surrounded by plenty of writing friends who are also participating in Camp which helps me to move forward. Nothing like a little competitive spirit to get things moving. Nano believes in  getting the words on the page. No inner editor allowed here. Just write. I can work out the problems when I edit since all writing is really rewriting anyways, right? Who knows if I will finish my next novel during Camp or if I will abandon it to come back another day, but at least it is a goal and having a goal is the first step.

I know that I will get my mojo back eventually whether it is now or 5 months from now. I just have to relax and have a little faith that I can tell a story no one else can tell. I certainly like to believe my ideas are different. Regardless if they are different or not, I need to find the fun again, and maybe throw my characters into a bad situation or two. Who knows what will happen?

Trisha Schmidt

I'm a writer who is plugging away at my first novel and stumbling through the whole process as I do! Draft one is done and I am learning editing as I go with the drafts 2 and 3 and who knows what number I'll stop at! With a great love of movies, I also write screenplays. 

I can be random (as are my posts!) and my filter seems to be broken so I say what is on my mind. Exclamation points are one of my first loves!!!! Feel free to love them with me!

Becoming a published author is my goal so strap yourself in, it's gonna be a bumpy, crazy ride!

For more from Trisha Schmidt check out her blog seeredwrite or follow her on twitter @seeredwrite.

She Reads Books